5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
