Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
