We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I got her a Nickelback box set.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
