Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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