none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
