So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
