Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
