I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
