Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
