WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
