so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
