Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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