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So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
