i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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