Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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