She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
