Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
