there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
