Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
