Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
