I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
