We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
