Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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