I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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