drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize