I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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