Do you still have your period?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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