I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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