OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
