sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
