We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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