I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
