I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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