Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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