1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
