How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
