Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize