my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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