Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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