He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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