i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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