he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize