The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
