Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
