I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
