i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This house was built for laser tag.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
