you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
