Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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