Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
