I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
