I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
