we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You're like the curious george of whores
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My feet surprised me
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
