the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My dick has a subreddit
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
