imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
