I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
