Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
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