Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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