...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.