She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm like, not good at living.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
