If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??