He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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