my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
