FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
