my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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