i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
