Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
