windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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