so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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