All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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