My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
