happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
babies were throwing up all over the place
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize